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  • AutorenbildDaniel Bernhard


Aktualisiert: 6. Dez. 2019


∞ Queers In Mainstream S*positive Spaces ∞ Part 2 ∞

Masculine - Feminine - Mystery

A new and queerer mythology of Sensual Play. 🔥🔄🔥

If there is anything that I fully believe in, it is the concept of PLAY.

In ancient Sanskrit teachings, the concept of Leela (Play) is often cited as the one force that creates and destroys universes. Divine Play. The free will of Consciousness expressing itself without force, necessity, gravity, with the joyful power of a dancer who has mastered their craft and now goes wild.

Everything comes from play.

Any valid spiritual or healing practice should aim to promote the freedom from attachment, the ease and self-determination necessary to truly PLAY, to create a beautiful reality for oneself and others, to be an artist of one's own life. Unrestrained.

The same goes for politics. Why would we fight for everyone's liberation if not in order to see everyone play, to create a world where being playful is not a luxury and a privilege for some.

And here we hit the gender topic. Aaaah, help! There it is again. Men, women, trans*, non-binary, LGBTQIEAXYZ, stop that heaviness altogether!!!

It's really funny to sense how I am getting a little heavier myself upon typing this. All the play is instantly gone. Why is there so much heaviness in these topics? Might be the side effect of some milennia of war and playlessness? But we can jump out of it. I would actually say we can DANCE out of it. And dance it out.

Especially in a s*xpositive context, where we meet to engage in the most useless and because of that most delicious activities. Where the idea of play is all around: play parties, playrooms, role play, toys. Transforming even trauma into kinky games, thus healing it. Huge potential. Yet so often we follow the trodden paths of how our desire and especially our identity were once wired and programmed. We reproduce structures that sabotage our freedom.

Identity and sexual orientation are prisons. Identity is something that someone from the outside once put on you in order to make sense of you. It is not you. It might have been very relieving to wear it with pride and easy for the nervous system to make sense of the world, looking at it from a certain perspective. But in the long run, the mission would be, for me, to make a TOY out of it, for pleasure.

While I appreciate the gender binary as a system of reference similar to a compass with four directions, it so often serves less as a means of orientation to see where you are at on a spectrum between the two extremes but as a machine with two very narrow slots where your identity needs to fit. Mine was way too big early on. I am very grateful for that. Also that it's still too messy for it: the menslot is too small for this manslut/sloth/slob 📷;-) ...and don't get me even started with the slots for sexual orientation... And the truth is: none of our true beings fits there, not those of cis straight people, not those of queers, gays, trans*: EVERYBODY'S QUEER is the title of a workshop that I like to offer to people across the spectrum.

Just like we are never THE NORTH, even if we may come from there and might connect some meaning to it, and just like the compass doesn't ask us to decide for one direction (thanks for that!) or how one direction is more loved, respected, powerful than the others (thanks even more for that!), our map to gender should also turn into something as neutral, something we can USE for our BENEFIT. For this, it needs freedom of decision, flexibility within the polarities themselves but also fluidity in the way they are interacting. New imagination. And a climate that is ruled by acceptance and curiosity.

Of course, you can argue that this either/or machine should be abolished altogether. It is a western, colonial, oppressive concept that destroyed so much beauty and is still killing people by the hour. It is still dangerous to not fit into these two slots. So I feel an urge to abolish it and many people I know advocate for that. But I am sceptical if that kind of abrupt action would actually make a mainstream s*xpositive space or any space more free. Already because we were all brought up in societies that usually determine the gender binary as the single most important system of reference for identity, roles in society, desire, language, the way we move etc. It will still be in our bodies even if we decide that over night it will cease to exist. We inherited this mess and we need to work with it.

But why not experience all of this without the drama, the solemn plastic holiness of western neo-tantra and the idea that masc/femme is a life sentence?

One way would be to always refer to a spectrum on which every spot is as worthy as the other and that we move along a lot during each day. Sometimes we are high femme at night and lumberjacks in the morning. And more than that, more than "Divine Masculine" or "Divine Feminine", we are EVERYTHING. And every part of us is worthy. And, beyond that, we are in the same need of all of these facets of the human rainbow to be present in our circles, or else they will stay wounded and incomplete.

So ultimately, we need the whole spectrum, rainbow, circle, multitude. But this can be a little too messy for sacred sex rituals and inner work, where clear roles and archetypes and constellations can be important. Also to allow everyone to slowly ease into the boundlessness of their soul and beyond that, of Source. Step by step. With a clear mythology to hold on to.


We all understand a triangle. It's super easy: ^. Three points, relating at eye-level. The first step towards a circle.

Close your eyes and imagine. And keep reading while doing so. You can do it, especially if you meditate daily

Imagine a huge room, a temple space where people are going to perform a sacred s*x ritual or a mystical performance. You see them position themselves in a specific constellation, facing each other from three sides. Each person positioned based upon what they chose to embody tonight, how they want to serve, as Priestess, Priest or PriestX of Love. Their genitals (that are anyways waaaaay more beyond a binary than anyone ever told us in school) do not matter at all. At all. They just go full-on into one of three energies: Feminine, Masculine and The Mystery, the three poles that are coming together in mystical love making in this new and ancient mythology that I channeled from ancient egypt (ssshhhh 📷;-) ): The Sacred Triangle. As they slowly approach each other in a complex choreography, everyone feels the tensions rise to the extreme. They are moving towards each other consistently and in harmony. All of them are embodying their polarity shamelessly. Soon, a very long and slow explosion is going to happen. Sacred Triangles are formed, triads with one representative of each of the three energies, + - ∞. They take turns uniting in different constellations, sometimes one holding space for the other two, beyond their egos and personal identities, they transcend each other and create new universes, new forms of touch and a lot of energy, like a human power plant.

By opening up a third option AND not limiting it to those who are anyways always the "others", by allowing everyone to fully experience the medicine of the three polarities, the masculine, feminine and the mystery without being glued to it for life, by going beyond the either/or, we are opening a space of FREE PLAY.

In Octavia E. Butler's brilliant Xenogenesis trilogy, where an African American woman becomes the primordial mother of a new and more peaceful humanity, mixing our old human genes and forms of procreation with those of an extraterrestrial species, the setup is that children can only be made when a female, a male and a representative of a third gender are present. Otherwise it doesn't work. This image always gave me hope. I wish for more images of this kind.

And seeing this embodied in a temple can be such a healing image, one that truly invites all those who do not wish to come to a space that presents itself as inviting to queers but then AGAIN asks them to chosse between one of the two same old compartments while the cosmos has a whole rainbow that wants to be expressed through them. People that need to come back to the temples urgently and step into their ancient role as wanderers between the worlds, embodiments of the mystery, wisdom keepers that can take many perspectives. For ages feared for their power, not oppressed because of their inferiority. The presence of priestX's of various genders is not a question of being PC or nice or following the Zeitgeist, it's a question of inviting people who are desperately needed for the temples to fully awaken. And who desperately need the temples to play in full size, full shape, full color. Queers have a sacred task on this planet. Recreating the circle, dissolving the either/or that has been a mythology of the patriarchal (piscean) age: One vs. The Other, a matrix of war and separation. It's over.

Imagine what this triangle, taken as a reference, could inspire in many other aspects: three facilitators in every training or temple, one feminine, one masculine and one mystery (not determined by genitals or gender at all, just by energy).

A new mythology is a key to a new world. We can only imagine what we have images for. The triangle can be a first step into the unknown.

I am dying to try it out again very soon. The last time was BEYOND!

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