Our first all-gender MASCULINITY CIRCLE happened last night at Melanie Bonajos house. It was deeply healing, tastily queer and refreshing to gather with cis and trans men, women & nonbinaries who are gay, straight, queer and from very different social and cultural backgrounds and to share from the heart about the role masculinity plays in our lifes, experiences of loving fathers, fear of (other) men and also deep love for them and for masculine traits that can be so nourishing and empowering to experience in ourselves and in others. Listening to and connecting with such different experiences. Beyond the current narrow discourse around toxicity and #metoo. We called it S(O)FT C(O)CK W(O)RSHIP because it's a super cool title.
Starting with some touch based somatic exercises and then proceeding to a Heart Circle and later a hangout. Soup and eye gazing. Life can be simply so good when spent in community.
While masculinity and men are often red flags in many queer and feminist contexts and while most traditional men's circles are not open to all kinds of masculinities, I feel that these kinds of more open exchanges can help build important bridges. Healing flows all ways when we meet in a circle and in the spirit of mutual respect and appreciation. With the will to listen. I have been dreaming of having such conversations regularly for so long and now it's a reality. Not to replace men-only work at all. But in the end we should just all feel comfortable in shared spaces. Let's go there
. This idea is open source. Go try it. You don't need to call it S(O)FT C(O)CK W(O)RSHIP at all, but you can. Just invite your friends, make a soup, cuddle and envision the world after patriarchy, where men are liberated from the burden of playing the entitled oppressor and all of us can finally relax and can freely worship each other for who we are.

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