I hereby cast a spell to ban Modesty from my life, once and for all.
To demand from yourself or others to be modest is an act of violence. It's just a "noble" mask for shame. I do not want to hide and keep my gifts to myself, that's just arrogant, unloving and the root of bigotry and resentment.
I want to show off my being just as I want to see and witness all of the other people's beings. Please, show off to me! I want to be in contact, to rub our energies instead of fake politely holding them back and all sitting in our little separate spaces, with clenched muscles and shallow breath, afraid to be "too much". Right now the problem is that there is "too little" of especially marginalized people's genius, but also too little of everyone's fullness.
I feel in order to grow we need everyone to share their gifts fully, not just superficially, not just what is already respected by the ruling ideology. Also the weird parts, the queer parts, the emotional parts. I want space for generosity. I want a world where everyone always feels comfortable to woman/man/nonbinary-spread if they feel like. I want to live in a world where people walk proudly, with an open chest (and heart), where no one is afraid or ashamed to be seen or judgemental of those who let themselves be seen in all their magnificence and all their so called weaknesses. In their humanness.
I want this to start with my own behaviour. I allow myself to be in a state of gratitude, to be humble.
At the same time I promise to stop that stupid game of modesty and politeness. I promise to relax.
I promise to take my space and invite everyone around me to do the same. I promise to celebrate everyone who dares to show up, especially if society usually doesn't support showcasing their glory because of racism, sexism, trans-, homo-, whore-"phobia".
I promise to try and show myself in a way that does not aim to be an act of domination but a vulnerable way to reach out to others and seek connection.
I promise to try and enact mutual empowerment.
My beloved taught me a beautiful lesson yesterday. Basic drag wisdom from Aviv Shalem: A Queen is not about being superior, a Queen is there to drag up everyone else, to challenge everyone to be their best self as well, to remind everyone of their Queen nature, if they may wish to claim it. Amen.